Headlines in History: December 12, 1913

After playing around with different formats of Headlines in History, the rousing consensus of readers has been “More Christmas Ads intermingled with news stories!” Good choice, world, because there are some wacky ads out there in 1913.

The Central Record (Lancaster, KY):

Santa is either sitting on a throne or bursting through a wreath. Either way, one of the children appears to be holding a tissue, presumably to dry their tears when they learn Santa is a megalomaniac who in a century later is fighting to keep secret the fact that his factories are poisoning the world’s atmosphere with unregulated emissions. The other is being handed a wish bone to put her hopes into the cracking of animal parts. Or something along those lines.




And from the same paper, this stove seems EXTREMELY concerned you will buy your stove elsewhere.

Frightened Stove


The San Francisco Call and Post:

Pawn Stars, one of the few mildly history-centric shows on the poorly titled History channel would have a field day with this lot if someone showed up in the store with it.



Albuquerque Evening Herald:

THE MONA LISA WAS STOLEN! Really? It is true! In 1911, the painting disappeared from The Louvre. Prominent among suspects was Pablo Picasso, but he was cleared for any crime. In fact, it was a petty thief who dressed up in a white smock, hid in the museum until night, then hid the painting under his flowing garments and walked out the door when the museum opened the next day. Luckily, 100 years ago today, Vincenzo Perugia was arrested and the Mona Lisa was safe again.

Mona Lisa


And to close out with some assorted ads….

Gotta look dapper in those hats.



This Santa gets scarier and scarier…



Oil lamps and the South? Sign me up!



Cameras always make for a great present.



I might shop here if I was the lord of a vast domain. Poor teacher though? Not so much.